Eks-clah-may-shun point--Movie Spoilers Ahead!

“Would you like a portion?” –an audience member at An Evening with Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder

So I just finished a viewing of this season’s off-beat action/adventure bullet-fest, Smoking Aces, and I have to say—I was so happy with this movie until the last 8 minutes. Yes, it is one of those high octane flicks with over-the-top celebrations of violence that rivals Rodriguez’s Desperado, the stylishness of Ritchie’s Snatch and the disjointed, causality collision of Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction—a true beast of a modern action movie. Joe Carnahan’s film stylishly threw me around the theater with smoking muzzles flaring, chunks of human flesh, and absolutely lovable killers—lovable.

And then the other shoe drops with a nightmarish clicking of reality’s heels. As the movie unravels, the “catch” begs the watcher on into a soft dramatic turn?!? WTF, my friends.

To front load you a little detail regarding my pre-existing knowledge of this flick: Jimmy Palmiotti had posted a bulletin on MySpace shying people away from going to see Smoking Aces. Since his warning was so vague and subjective, I e-mailed him—wanting a more acceptable reason to NOT SEE the movie. I asked him to sum up the movie, one writer to another, with a sentence. Here is what he replied with: (unedited, unabashed)

"steve, wasnt boring...was ambitious, but the main story was weak...the idea kind of lame and it came off like a bad mad mad world with hit men. the last 5 minutes is so out there and stupid as well.....that said, see it if you like any of the actors, but know its crap going in. for me, it was dissapointing "--Jimmy Palmiotti

This message was just enough to make me want to see it—I mean, I pretend to be this super objective guy; a guy who has an open mind and wants to share in the wonders of the world. You can stop laughing now; I just wanted to see why he hated it so much. So I went in with very little reservation; because, the previews had sold me to this movie in early December. I took it for what it was—as a diesel-ed out action movie. I was entertained. Props to the kids I work with at Longhorn—they all enjoyed the movie with one thing in mind: the ending will make or break the movie for you. So I waited...

...and I, too, was disappointed. Ryan Reynold’s Agent Messner appears to be the only character who circumnavigates the mind field of causal disaster without losing a limb—he narrowly avoids every killer, every bullet, and every life altering moment but appears “damaged” the most by loss of his partner Agent Carruthers played by Ray Liotta. He then confronts his senior officer, Stanley Locke, played by Andy Garcia—who has a lousy southern accent, by the way—and unravels the mystery of Buddy Israel (Jeremy Piven) and his feud with mob boss, Primo Sparazza.

It’s a fun flick—I liked it but felt filled with morbid stupidity for staying for the denouement—it has to be one of the worst pay-offs since…well, Marvel Comics’ Civil War isn’t over yet, is it? You catch my drift. If you go see “Smoking Aces”—do as follows: Get up as soon as you see Ryan Reynolds walk into a hospital, exit the theater, and let some of your life and movie-going experiences have some unanswered questions. The end really ruins the flick and leaves you with a terrible taste in your mouth.

So, this week’s reviews are in at the ‘Rama—I cover Wolverine #50 very closely with short reviews of Connor Hawke: Dragon’s Blood #3; Doctor Strange: the Oath #4 and a pretty scathing rant on Civil War: The Return—featuring what has to be one of the most poorly written 12 page filler stories I’ve read that returns Captain Mar-Vell to the Marvel Universe. Rubbish.

I had a field day today; I happened upon one of my favorite movies in the DVD section of Target—Wet Hot American Summer, the best mockery of the old school “Summer Camp” flicks that inhabited the late 70’s and early 80’s due to the huge success of the Meatballs and its subsequent franchise spawning. I also bought the New Line Platinum Series version of “Boogie Nights” for a whopping twelve dollars—being the total “Criterion DVD” whore that I am. To round out my purchase I got my hands on “This Film is Not Yet Rated’ by Kirby Dick. This documentary is an exposé on the most influential censor in the country, the MPAA film ratings board; it features a bevy of directors from John Waters to Matt Parker and Kevin Smith—awesome!

I’ll be sure to let you know more after I’m done. Be sure to comment if you feel the need—this week’s mission:

Tell me what you have going on in the Pop Culture department:

1. What are you listening to?
2. What are you reading?
3. What upcoming movie do you want to see?
4. What’s the last DVD you bought?
5. Playing any videogames?

Talk to me people! Let’s talk about stuff that makes us crazy and entertained. Two weeks ‘til Mega Con—woo hoo! I'm going to blog nightly after each day at Mega Con--to let everyone know how I suck at breaking into the comic industry! YAY!

Love you, mean it.
Steve

Listening to: The Police, some Foo Fighters, Incubus, and STP--nice roaring mix.
Reading: Too many books to list, I need to pick one finish it and so on and so forth...
Movie I want to see: the new Lecter flick, his formative years...what DID he "cut his teeth on"?
DVD's I bought: Read my blog, they are all there. My wallet is weightless.
Videogamery: Um, I need to level my Blood Elf Paladin after I finish this.